To the Fathers.
To the dads and the daddies.
To the papas.
To the grandfathers.
To the men in our lives that take on the role of father when we need it most.
They give us the holding.
They offer us the solid ground upon which to run and move and explore.
They are the banks of our raging rivers.
They are the containment we need to feel ourselves in space.
To my husband.
The father of my children.
The one who holds us all in the background.
The solid ground upon which I open.
The man who lost his own father just a few short months ago.
Asking him to step into the role of the Patriarch of his family line; all the while, feeling all the layers of his grief.
Because of his holding, my daughters will never choose a man who doesn’t respect and revere them for all they are.
Because of his own work on himself, my daughters will not carry emotional shame patterns.
Because of his parenting; my daughters will know what it means to be able to trust the masculine.
This is the gift of many, many lifetimes I am sure.
To my own father.
A man of incredible passion and intelligence.
A man who showed me that men can be sensitive and strong.
A man who reveres the feminine through his work with the earth and agriculture.
A man who’s modeling meant I’d always choose a partner who valued the power of wild nature over manicured “perfection.”
A man who instilled in me a love of food and nourishment.
A friendly soul who was willing to play a sometimes painful role for me that allowed me to wake up to my gifts and power clearly and beautifully and in perfect timing.
I am so deeply grateful for the men in my life who hold so much so that I may have the life I have today and all days.
There is this idea that fathers are some sort of secondary parent.
The story in our collective is that fathers are somewhat dispensable.
Sometimes, they’re the fun ones but aren’t reliable or capable of holding a boundary.
Sometimes they’re the “baby sitter dads.”
Sometimes, they are silent, stoic and unreachable.
Sometimes, they are largely not around; busy “providing,” but never actually present or involved in a meaningful way.
Or, at the worst, in my opinion; they are just another “child” for the mom take care of.
I couldn’t disagree with these versions of the role of father more.
A role of a father is to set the template of masculine in our children.
If “man child” or unreachable, emotionally detached, always busy and exhausted, is the template for the masculine, that is a problem for all of us.
Today I am expressing my deep and unending love for fathers and the masculine.
And, with that showering of love and appreciation, I am calling forth the integrated masculine we all need.
The one that meets anything with solid love and stability.
The one that can see our wild emotion, hold and trust us in our own experience, while providing security that isn’t patronizing.
The Masculine that is present. In his body. In his heart.
The one that is balanced in his relationship to work and provider-ship, and provides because it’s true, not because it assuages some part of his fragile ego.
The one that sees his equal, but completely different counterpart in the integrated Feminine, within his own psyche, and within his partnership.
I see you Men.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
Thank you.
May all fathers feel appreciated and loved for all they do and are today.
What a gift!
Thank you for this! I really appreciate the lens and beauty of this post.