I wrote a Substack post about what nourishment really takes and then I made a little video over on instagram showing what I do to nourish myself in a day.
I received a lot of really good questions and comments about what came up for people seeing the practical ways I center nourishment in my life. I also got a lot of comments to the tune of “this seems so hard!” or “I could never do that!” or “That’s not realistic for my life.”
In this piece, I am attempting to really parse apart some the intricate reasons for the resistance people have towards whole body nourishment.
Nourishment Doesn’t Have to be Your Medicine
I have no agenda other than to hold the frequency of nourishment and transmit it.
I do not, in any way shape or form, believe that all humans need to value nourishment above all else.
We all have our unique paths, journeys, lessons we are here to learn, and work we have to do in the world. Sometimes nourishment isn’t part of your journey. That is totally ok with me.
It just so happens that nourishment is one of my highest held values for myself and my family. It is the thing I attune people to in my work in the world. It’s literally and figuratively, what I eat, sleep and breathe.
It is important to point out that nourishment has been my teacher for my whole life.
My early years, I was extraordinarily undernourished and completely unaware of my body and its needs. I have now made nourishment the center of my world. Initially because of necessity and now out of pure love and desire to love myself as deeply as I can.
It really is, in my case, the adage of my biggest wounds being the place of my greatest medicine.
Nourishment, as a frequency, continues to teach me more than any other energy I have come into contact with. So, I continue to be immersed in the refinement of this medicine and healing the places where I am still not really in full alignment with it.
Other people have other subjects of deep pain and healing in their lives.
We all have the seeds within our greatest pain for our greatest potential.
And I don’t mean potential in some sort of grand materialistic, conventionally ‘successful’ way, but maybe a quiet beautiful way that is all your own and never “amounts to anything” outside of the way it changes you.
Food based nourishment might not be your thing. That is totally ok. Many people live beautiful and fulfilling lives without addressing their physical nourishment on any level.
Nourishment, Values, and Discernment
I value food-based nourishment. So I spend my resources (time, money, energy) on food. It makes sense for me because I value it.
There are plenty of things that I value less or don’t value and don’t mind cutting corners on, that other people might be really appalled at.
I don’t wear make up and therefore, never spend time or money on it. I do value skincare and spend time and money doing that. There are probably all sorts of things I don’t value that you really do.
It can be so key to know what you value. Know your values. Know your standards. Know where it’s worth it to you to spend your resources.
That is part of nourishment, being discerning (see: Adult Discernment) with what you spend your resources on.
In the 3D world, there are finite amounts of time, energy, and money. There just are. We can talk about the quantum level and I love to live there sometimes and dream there.
But when you live a full life here in the 3D there are realities that you cannot deny and are important to come to terms with. When you have a baby to take care of, for example, there can be no doubt in your mind, that your resources are finite.
We cannot do it all. We simply cannot. I am a very functional, capable, and efficient person. I can get a lot done. But one of the lessons I’ve learned in the hardest of ways is this: that my energy and my resources are, on one level, are very exhaustible.
Being connected to what I value and making discerning decisions about how I spend my time, money, and energy is necessary for me to feel fulfilled, nourished and in alignment.
We cannot be nourished if we are leaking our energy, time, and money in all directions.
We need clear delineations of what we would like to spend our resources on to live in such a way that feels good, aligned, and like it’s moving us towards what we desire.
Nourishment, Embodiment and Reception
Because I value nourishment, I attempt to only move at the pace of my embodiment.
If I have to force and push myself beyond my capacity to stay with myself just to make dinner because I’m so exhausted, that might be a time when it’s more in service to my nourishment to order a pizza or grab a rotisserie chicken on my way home or hopefully, I stashed away some hot dish casseroles in the freezer, one of my fav ways my past self takes care of my current self).
If you can’t cook a meal and clean up the kitchen in an embodied, present way, but you have to force and push, it probably won’t be a nourishing experience because you won’t be able to receive it. You’ll be leaving some part of yourself behind.
Am I saying I never push myself to clean up the kitchen at the end of the night? No. I do quite often, but I am gauging myself and if it really was going to bring me far outside myself I might definitely leave it or I would power through and then do something really sweet and nourishing for myself after, like a hot bath with candles or reading while putting my legs up the wall and breathing deeply into my back body.
I have to be attuned to myself (see: Self Attunement is the Key to Everything) to know what I need in these moments and not easily collapse into scrolling on my phone or watching TV I don’t even enjoy.
A Matriarch is highly attuned to her own needs AND the needs of the others she cares about, at the same time. This doesn’t mean she always puts others’ needs before her own, it just means she is aware of them and takes them in consideration.
This is where I think a poor model of mature feminine affects so many women in the realm of nourishment.
If we didn’t have a model of what it means to be a woman committed to her nourishment then it doesn’t feel safe and we feel unsafe claiming it for ourselves. Safety is such a big part of being able to receive. You’re not going to truly receive something if you feel unsafe or there are a lot of unknowns involved, because you can’t open.
Imagine a closed fist and an open hand. Which one is going to be able to receive something offered to it?
There is a finite amount of time. You have a finite amount of energy. This is just a 3D fact. So we do have to be really attuned to ourselves (See: Self Attunement is the Key to Everything article) and the values we want to choose to uphold and be willing to make trades and swaps for the things we don’t value as much.
This is where efficiency does matter and commitment to our values does take effort (See: Nourishment Takes Effort).
Nourishment and The Mother
If you are here, I am willing to be there is something within you that yearns for a life that is more nourishing on some level.
Maybe you wish you enjoyed cooking more.
Maybe you wish you knew what to feed your kids so that they grew up robust and strong.
Maybe you just have a feeling that you are in some way under nourished and you’re exploring what would remedy that.
Maybe you are really well physically nourished but you still feel the ache of hunger for something more in your soul.
All nourishment, no matter physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual comes from The Mother. The Mother is where all nourishment is originally derived.
When you think of the word nourishment, what picture comes up for you?
A table full of scrumptious food? A warm cozy couch full of blankets and a fire cracking in the background? A well used kitchen? Maybe a maternal figure of some sort? A soft and curvy woman? A warm embrace? Something else?
I’m willing to bet that whatever it is, it has a feminine feel to it.
We are profoundly lacking in the mature feminine principle in this day and age. It is rare to have a maternal model of a nourished and embodied older woman. It is rare to find a real world example of a wise old crone. And because of this, I believe we are severely undernourished as a society.
I draw a very strong connection between the lack of modeling of mature feminine energy in the world and the collective experience of the lack of true nourishment.
Why Don’t We Allow Nourishment?
Generally, people know how to nourish themselves if they just slow down and listen.
Everyone knows they should spend less time on screens, less time comparing themselves to others, eat more whole foods, and prioritize their sleep.
Everyone knows that nature is healing and that they would be happier if they spent less time being concerned about material gain and more time truly receiving what they already have. We know this.
But, why don’t we make these things part of our everyday reality? What is it that keeps us so stuck in the habits and patterns of excess stress and deficiency of that warm and subtle thing that I call nourishment?
It is easy to say, “My job keeps me in the stress!” “If only I had more time, then I would nourish myself more!” “It’s everyday modern life that has me so stressed out!” “It’s the way I was raised, I was taught that my worth was dictated by how much I could preform!” “It’s my mother. She didn’t nourish me, so I don’t have a blueprint for nourishment!” “My mind is always spinning! It feels like I can’t catch a break and just be!”
These could all be totally true. I don’t doubt your high stress job, feeling super overbooked, modern life, and the way and culture in which you were raised all contribute to your habit of choosing stimulation over rest, even when rest is what you need. I know. I am right there with you.
Have your feelings. Be victimized. Acknowledge the ways you are programmed away from nourishment. This is part of it.
And then, once you’ve felt that, my question is: ‘So what do we do from here?’
So you’re tired, overwhelmed, overbooked, patterned from birth, traumatized, and burnt out; are you still able to meet yourself where you are and ask yourself, in each moment that you can remember: “What would nourish me here?”
Are you willing to ask the deepest parts of yourself that question?
Not what does Clara say I should do in this moment. Not what would X influencer do in this moment? Not what would someone else do to nourish themselves.
What do YOU need in this moment?
Because here’s the thing: nourishment is for you. It has to be. It comes through you.
It has to be something that takes all the uniqueness that makes you, you into consideration.
You can constantly be looking to someone else to tell you the answers, give you the next diet, the next study, the next supplement, but if you don’t ask yourself, “What would nourish me here?” then you’re just putting your work on someone or something else. And you’ll never be truly satisfied. Because the answer to what would nourish you has to come from you.
When we remember that our nourishment is for us and it comes through us, we don’t feel the pressure of the shoulds. I ‘should’ eat more whole foods. I ‘should’ not watch so much tv. I should lift weights, walk more, etc.
These shoulds are inherently not nourishing. You can go through the movements of doing the “shoulds” and be doing all the things, but are you really receiving them?
Because that is difference between being truly nourished and just ticking boxes. So many women (myself included sometimes) are just going through the motions of nourishment, not actually receiving the nourishment of their lives.
When we don’t really receive nourishment, or receive our lives, the idea of nourishment can feel heavy, overwhelming. It creates pressure. It creates a squeeze.
Nourishment takes up space. It’s stretches out. It widens us.
One of the most common questions I got around nourishment was around how hard it feels. Women tell me it feels like work. It feels like too much of a mental load to meal plan. It feels like too much work to clean up the kitchen after cooking. It feels never ending to have to always have food ready for meals. It feels overwhelming to keep track of “all the things I’m supposed to do.”
I really get this feeling. I do. I’ve spent many years of my life being overwhelmed and feeling like I didn’t have enough time. I’ve spent many years of my life finding all the things I should be doing and doing them without any question and feeling fried afterwards when I thought I was supposed to feel good.
What Do We Do?
The answer is not to force yourself to be nourished or grind your way to nourishment. That will never work. Because it is the opposite of nourishment.
Nourishment is never about doing more, it’s about receiving more and then of course, we can overflow and give from a place of overflow and joy.
We make dinner with a sense of purpose and alignment.
We meal plan because it aligns with our value of having food that is home cooked and nourishing for our family and our selves.
We grocery shop and have food available because it’s what works best for us.
Softening into a deeper relationship with nourishment is receiving more than you are giving out.
Having more while doing less.
It has to be. Especially if we have been in a place of depletion.
This is hard for people to wrap their heads about because nourishment has become just another thing we have to “do.” No wonder we feel exhausted and pressured by it.
Now, you might look at all the things I “do” to support my nourishment and think you need to do more. But this is comparison, this is ‘should’ thinking, this is the idea that you need to do what I’m doing for you to be nourished. That is not the case and it’s not how nourishment works on a broader level .
I meal plan. I am pretty much always cooking to some degree and cleaning up the kitchen when I’m at home. I am always thinking about food, where we will get it, what we will have, what we need, how we will build our days around our meals and snacks. I have built so many skills in the kitchen over lots of time.
Food has become the scaffolding upon which the fabric of lives lays. That is not work. That is just how my life works. And I love it.
I don’t love or enjoy every single moment of it, but overall I love the way eat, the way we procure most of our food from our own land and our community, and the way we really attune to the earth and her cycles through what we eat.
AND sometimes I just order a fucking pizza because I also really value freedom.. which is one of my highest values actually, so I can see why I can’t quite give myself the full “I will never order take out” standard.
Nourishment requires effort. It requires resources. It should. It’s worth it.
I don’t actually think the majority of modern day people are too lazy or undisciplined to eat in a nourished way, I think most Americans are burnt out.
Some sources say 80% of American adults show significant signs of burnout. We need nourishment. And we are exhausted and it takes effort. It is quite a conundrum.
What do we do then?
We do what we can, where we are.
And we keep asking ourselves: “What would nourish me in this moment?” If you don’t know, then this is an even more important inquiry to be with.
We need to know our needs and know ourselves before we can really deeply nourish ourselves.
This is the kind of work we do in my program FERTILE. I will be opening the doors again at some point. You can get on the waitlist here or book a call with me to get more information on how to work with me here.
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