I want to tease out some concepts around “listening to your body” and what that actually means.
I am a proponent of listening to your body. All of my work with my clients and my students revolves around teaching people to listen to their bodies.
In my nutrition work I guide people into a relationship with their food and nourishment that is self lead and oriented from the inside out. I don’t give people a set of rules to follow that come from theory or dietary ideas. I keep putting people in the driver’s seat of their well being. I keep asking and reminding them to listen to how they feel and pointing them to what they already Know.
In the embodiment practice I created, HomeBody, I teach people how to come inside themselves, listen and attune to their inner landscape.
In my long term 1:1 work I am guiding my students into their most nourished selves and serving that aspect of them until they grasp how to serve it by themselves.
All of my writing, podcasts and free content seeks to penetrate toxic collective ideas about women’s health, beauty, and the roles we’ve been programmed to play as women.
I see an epidemic of people thinking they are doing “embodiment work” and “listening to their bodies” when really they are just super dysregulated, disembodied, high on addiction, and simply attuned to whatever makes them “feel” good in the moment.
How could this be the case, you may ask?
The answer lies in the nuances of listening to the body on a deep, cellular level, from a regulated, mature place versus listening to the body on the surface, static layer level.
Here’s an example: when a heroin addict listens to their body it will say: “I want heroin.” But is heroin what the junkie’s body needs?
On one level; yes. If they do not get heroin they will get sick. They will puke. They will shake and convulse and feel awful.
On another level, a junkie’s body really needs to detox. A junkie’s body needs to be lovingly fed, rested, and cared for. This is the Truth.
But when the junkie is in an addictive state of mind he or she will never feel the Truth of the second level, UNTIL, he or she gets to a place where he or she is not in the addictive cycle.
Another, less extreme, example: Scrolling on our phones. Is scrolling on our phones something our body needs? No. Is scrolling on our phones something our body does without thinking? Yes. Similar to heroin we get dopamine from it. Dopamine makes us feel good. Our bodies like to feel good. So on the first level our bodies need the scroll.
On the second level; in our collective society, the typical western person’s nervous system needs a lot less mental stimulation and a lot more physical movement. Scrolling on our phones is the opposite of that. It’s physically restful (we are typically still) and very mentally stimulating. Same goes with watching TV.
But what does the average person do to unwind when coming home from their typically mentally stimulating/physically restful job? They collapse and watch TV or scroll on their phone because they feel exhausted. When they would probably really feel much better after a walk around the block.
But, when we are dysregulated, we cannot attune to the thing that would really make us feel better in the long run. We tend to just go for the short term treat or the habit.
The way I talk about this phenomenon in my work with clients is that you have to “develop the ability to intuitively eat/intuitively decide what to do with your body.”
You don’t get to starve yourself for most of your adult life and then jump into eating ‘intuitively’ because you ‘want to be more in your feminine’. There needs to be a reestablishment of connection to your body and her language first. Which is far more reverent and feminine anyway.
You don’t get to come home from work feeling super agitated and edgy and get to ‘intuitively’ decide how to rest.
You need to ground yourself first.
You need to go slower first.
You need to collect data about yourself and your patterns first.
You need to be committed to something deeper (Truth) first.
You need to be willing to question yourself and your motives.
You need to get sober.
In overarching terms, you need to grow up.
I’ll give another personal example. I used to be a heavy drinker. I used to binge drink a lot. Over time and via lots of work; I became a very rare occasion drinker. And then there was a point where even if I had a few sips of wine I felt it my sleep and in the morning.
It became clear that on a long game level it was not at all what my body wanted. It wasn’t True for me to drink. And once I saw that; I haven’t had a drink since.
Does that mean that sometimes, at a fancy dinner or during a celebration, I don’t have a knee jerk reaction to want some alcohol to loosen up or enjoy with a really good steak? Of course.. but I am so deeply oriented to the deeper level of what is True, I physically can’t do it. This has taken years and years of practice and listening.
This isn’t a place I got to from a weekend “embodiment” retreat. It’s from literal moment by moment practice dropping into the deeper Truth that my body ultimately resonates with.
When I say you need to develop the ability to intuitively eat or intuitively move or rest etc, I mean you need to develop an attunement to the thing below the surface level pleasure seeking of the body.
I mean you need to develop an attunement to something beyond survival mechanisms.
I mean you need to attune to the Truth, which is in the body, but not necessarily what the body wants most in the moment.
To attune to this you need to be in a regulated state. You need to be able to feel your pussy and your feet on the ground.
You need to be aware of the air on your skin.
You need to be able to drop below the mind’s stories.
You need to be able to differentiate a mind that is spinning out and aligned action.
You need to be able feel the beauty of your heart beat no matter what is happening around you.
You need to be able to hold yourself in presence.
If you can’t do those things: you aren’t going to make a Truth oriented decision. You’ll be making an egoic, addictive or survival based decision.
The practice then is to repeatedly come back to the basic practices of orienting yourself in space, feeling what is in your body presently and leaning toward it, instead of away, and coming back to your breath, and that is the only practice.
At my retreat SAVOR we will be putting this into practice. We will be dropping below the mind and survival into the regulated place of alignment with Truth in the body and with the Earth. Eating well. Moving well. Nourishing ourselves. So that we may touch the spots beyond survival. So that we may integrate it all. So that we may actually feel the Intuitive Truth for us, maybe deeper than we ever have.
Still 2 spots open. March 19-22. Sage Lodge in Pray, MT. Reach out ASAP to have a call with me this week if you’re interested. Discounts available for locals (Montana based).
Free for All HomeBody Practice on Sunday, March 17th. 9-10am PST.
You can register here.
Listening to the Body Requires Attunement to Truth