I awoke this morning after just 5 hours of sleep unable to fall back into a peaceful slumber.
The stars were calling me.
Some people might call this anxiety, but I have come to know it as purely energy that wants my attention. It is just a little buried underneath the static layer of daily tasks and to do’s.
I am holding so much.
I am carrying so much.
We are all holding so much.
This is not just me.
It makes sense that there would be a call to consciously set it down and feel what’s underneath at times, or else we get lost in the noise and forget what we are doing here.
I have always been a morning person. I love the fresh start of a day and basking in the stars right before the sky in the west starts to glow.
It’s quiet and it feels like one of the rare times these days I can fully hear myself.
There is something about the morning hours when no one else is awake that allows me to really put it all down and be with the layer that lives below all that I am holding.
Almost always when I touch this layer the first emotion I feel is grief. A lot of times I cry, story less tears.
Again, one might feel like this is a problem or it means they are depressed or something is wrong, but I have come to relate to grief as opening.
When I’ve been closed and then I open, there is unfelt emotion there. The tears or the overwhelming sense of grief is just that unfelt emotion moving and clearing.
If I don’t get hooked into any storyline about what is wrong or where the tears are coming from, the experience is really beautiful and feels cleansing.
As I felt into this spot this morning I touched this grief that isn’t even all mine, it feels more collective: the umothered mother.
This well of grief of the unmothered mother I’ve been tapping into lately is not actually about what my own mother did or didn’t do.
It’s about the lack of the collective nurturer. The absence of Her within the collective. It’s about the ways we, as a society, have abandoned the true Feminine. How little we call upon Her. How little we value Her.
Because she is always there awaiting our invitation.
She is in the soil and grass and she is in the stars.
She is in the earth and in the sky.
She is in our very bodies and she is outside of our bodies; within and without.
We have access to Mother everywhere we are.
And yes, our own relationship with our own mothers is the template for our connection with Her, but if that relationship wasn’t nurturing or it didn’t teach us the boundaries and discernment or give us the guidance we needed to navigate the world, we can rewrite it.
We must rewrite it. For our children and for their children.
When we invite back in the collective nurturer into our own lives, we can invite her back into her rightful place, at the center of it all.
When the collective nurturer is present in our collective we don’t have unmothered children or unmothered mothers. When we are all mothered, we don’t have to fight so hard for our nourishment, it just becomes natural. She provides for us.
As I prepare to hold the family embodiment retreat, VILLAGE, I see the need to highlight the importance of Mother in the village of humanity.
We all need to acknowledge the grief of all the umothered mothers and children.
We need to allow the consequences of the absence of Her for generations to sink in.
The only way out is through and we cannot bypass the greif and loss of what we have forgotten and abandoned. In fact, we can only make real sustainable changes when we’ve acknowledged and willingly felt the despair.
The absence of wisdom about our bodies, pregnancies, birth, parenting, food, self care, family care, community care, relationship, creation in alignment with Life, nature, proper utilization of resources, is felt so deeply in every single corner of society. It’s rom the micro to the macro.
We can invite Her back; through our actions, through our listening, through our choices for our families, through our mothering of our children, ourselves, and others.
We can call back in the collective nurturer, by simply nurturing ourselves and our communities.
If you are ready to connect with me and others who are ready to center family and community, VILLAGE the 4 day retreat and VILLAGE the community day (a one day version of the retreat) are happening.
Send me a message for details.
The Umothered Mother